Why Kids Protest Chores (and What You Can Do About It): Insights from a Houston Child Therapist
You ask your child to take out the trash — and suddenly, it’s as if you’ve asked for the impossible. Tears, complaints, or even a full-blown tantrum follow.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
In this week’s episode of the Tantrum of the Week podcast, Houston child therapist and parent coach Lynn McLean, LCSW-S, Registered Play Therapist–Supervisor™, talks about those kids who shine at school but melt down when it’s time to help at home.
These moments can leave even the most patient parents feeling frustrated or confused. But the good news? There’s a reason behind the resistance — and practical ways to help.
Why Do Kids Protest Chores?
Even well-behaved kids struggle with chores sometimes. Some common reasons:
Chores feel like a grind. Even adults don’t love them!
They feel overwhelmed. Some kids don’t know all the steps and get stuck.
Sudden requests are hard. Switching from fun to work is tough on young brains.
It feels unfair. Kids may notice differences in expectations between siblings.
It’s communication. Sometimes, protest is how kids express feelings of frustration or a need for attention.
Understanding the “why” behind the protest is the first step toward calmer, more cooperative moments.
Practical Tips for Parents
But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t expect your kids to chip in. Chores are important ways for children to learn responsibility, to contribute, and to gain new skills. Here are some play therapy-informed strategies to reduce chore-time meltdowns:
Break tasks into smaller steps. Be specific about what needs to be done: “Pick up your clothes and put them in the hamper.”
Give transition warnings. Let your child know a chore is coming up: “In five minutes, it’s time to take out the trash.”
Reflect their feelings. Acknowledge frustration: “It feels unfair to stop playing right now.”
Do chores together. Working side-by-side can make tasks feel easier and less lonely.
Make it fun. Turn chores into games or challenges: “Let’s see who finishes first!”
Offer choices. Let kids decide when or how to do a task: “Before dinner or after dinner?”
Create routines. Regular schedules make chores predictable and reduce pushback.
These small adjustments can help your child feel capable and respected — and help you stay calm.
Encouragement for Parents
It’s normal for kids to resist chores sometimes. Building responsibility takes time, practice, and patience.
You don’t have to eliminate every protest, and you don’t have to stop expecting your child to do chores — just help your child feel understood and supported while being clear in your requests. You really are helping them learn important life skills.
Let us know about the Tantrum of the Week at your house. Share it with Lynn at help@tantrumoftheweek.com — your experience might be featured in a future episode!
And If tantrums or power struggles are overwhelming your household, it may be time to look for more individualized support. Schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation to see if we might be a good fit for you and your family.